Monday, June 6, 2011

Some observations after the first nine weeks...

Well, it's been just over two months since Mistress R took full time control of my cock and orgasms, and what a wonderful two months it's been! Mistress R has enjoyed a total of  20 orgasms during that time (that's 2.3 per week, or one every three days), whereas I have had just 6 (that’s 0.67 per week, or about one every 10 days). Which in Mistress R’s case is probably more than expected and less than I’d hoped, and in my case less than expected but more than I’d hoped… so all in all we’re doing pretty well so far!
Besides, I can’t help thinking that my average over those two months might be higher than it will prove to be over the coming months. Because four of my six came in April, and I’d wager that since Mistress R has got used to the idea of limiting my releases, May’s total might be more representative of my future quota. Who knows, maybe one day soon I’ll have a month completely devoid of any release… or she might just decide to give me more orgasms in one night than I’ve had in the last month! I just don’t know, and as ever it’s all up to my beautiful Mistress R (just as it should be).
Of course, the orgasm stats are only half the story and the idea of me not being allowed to touch my cock has been rather less successful. I would say on average I’ve failed two or three times a week (at least) in this regard (though again I stress I haven’t cum by my own hand since April 1st), sometimes this means just giving it a squeeze to assuage an early morning ache, sometimes it means several edges in a row… I’d love this not to be the case, but whereas I’ve found getting used to not coming relatively easy, the exact opposite is true when it comes to keeping my hands off my cock. Of course the fact that I’m not coming as often is making it harder, or so you would think, but even on the days directly after a permitted orgasm I’m still finding it almost impossible to resist…
So what’s the answer? Well, as Mistress R is not overly keen on the idea of the CB-3000, I can only hope she finds a suitable deterrent or makes my current punishment a bit harder to take. Of course the ultimate punishment would be to deny my tongue access to her beautiful pussy, but that would rather be cutting off her nose to spite her face wouldn’t it? The annoying thing is that I would dearly love to be able to abide by Mistress R’s rules, as I know that when I do manage to keep my hands off the eventual teasing by Mistress R’s is even more intense and gloriously (un)satisfying. And therein lies the reasoning behind my own desire to be ‘locked’. Ten minutes in that thing was enough to make me realise why so many men are willing to put up with the hassle and inconvenience of a chastity belt, as you cannot compare the feeling of loss of control with simply being instructed to keep your hands off. That said, I’m still scared shitless of the thing, in the same way that someone might be scared of a roller coaster (not a very good example as I hate roller coasters, but you know what I mean!)… but it’s a moot point as Mistress R isn’t keen and anyway I’m still not convinced I would actually enjoy wearing it for more than short periods…
Leaving that aside, this past two months has been something of a revelation, as I think we have felt closer than we have for a long time (and we have always been a very close couple anyway), we kiss and touch constantly, we both seem more at ease sexually and Mistress R is gradually coming to terms with the idea that she should take all the pleasure she wants from me whenever she wants it.
For my part I certainly have no regrets whatsoever, I’m sure I’ve spent more time this past two months pleasuring Mistress R than I have for any similar period in the last decade, and from what I’ve seen of late her orgasms have become stronger and more satisfying than ever before (only my impression, she may disagree). I adore being teased by her, having her stroking my cock however she likes until she leaves me rock hard and throbbing, and being inside her but knowing I’m not allowed to cum is a feeling I can’t even begin to describe… it makes me feel a little dizzy just thinking about it.
Although I was a little surprised when Mistress R decided that not only would I not be allowed to beg to be allowed to cum, but that I also wouldn’t be allowed to ask to be allowed inside her, I think it has worked out really well. Because now when she decides it is time I know she really wants me inside her and that makes it so much more enjoyable for me and special for the pair of us. I also love that Mistress R has overcome her reservations about making me lick her clean when she does permit me to cum inside her, because that is a wonderful experience and something I am always waiting for…
It will certainly be interesting to see what transpires in the coming months as Mistress R becomes more and more comfortable in her new role. Maybe she will decide to go all out and push for the fifty days of chastity she threatened me with before, or perhaps she might announce that in future I will have to eat my cum every time I am allowed to orgasm and then make me cum seven days in a row? Oh such sweet cruelty, I can’t help but look forward to whatever Mistress R plans for me. She truly is a Goddess in my eyes.

No comments:

Post a Comment